The Bald Woman's Blog: Part 38
Trekking around the L&D in search of the microbiology department and queueing for two hours when I didn't have to...
Tuesday, November 4:
Speaking of talent, or the lack of it, finding my way round places is not one of my best points and there was no finer example of this than today's fiasco. I was due to drop off my "sample" (burning bladder syndrome) at the L&D and Alan kindly offered to drop me and wait. I am incapable of driving at the moment as decisions take a little longer than usual!
I had no idea which department I needed and funnily enough it didn't occur to me to look on the form I was holding which clearly stated microbiology! Being sensible (!) I asked at the information desk and a very helpful lady who was seamlessly multi-tasking (I was so jealous) directed me. "Up the corridor, turn left, then right, then... It was somewhere around this point that my brain switched off, the light simply went out. How hard can it be, I thought, thanking her and setting off.
I did a complete circuit of the hospital and then re-traced my steps as I realised I had obviously missed it somewhere. I stood looking at the signs very carefully indeed but failed miserably to find anything remotely similar to microbiology. Back to the start then and cap in hand I presented myself to Miss Efficiency once more.
"Oh, dear," she said, "never mind let's try again", and once more she went carefully through the turns while I desperately tried to keep up. I set off again, this time at a brisker pace (which is hard for me at the moment) and after several more rights and lefts was no better off than before.
By this time I had started to talk to myself, berating my inability to do this simple task and telling myself what an idiot I was, probably rather too loudly, judging by the looks people were giving me. I ended up on the main street again and in desperation pulled out my phone to call Alan. "I can't find it," I wailed miserably, "and I'm fed up."
I was also badly out of breath and I really wanted to throw my handbag down and stamp on it and cry pathetically. Alan offered to help but the thought that he would have to pay that 2.50 again was the slap in the face I needed to sober me up; also Alan has trouble finding his own glasses so I didn't think he would actually be much help anyway!
I made a decision that I would take my sample up to the Macmillan Centre, where they wouldn't laugh at me and might be able to help, and I knew where that was! I strode in the entrance again and Miss Efficiency caught sight of me at once. "Oh, dear", she said, "You haven't managed to find it then"? She gave me a kind of pitying look, taking in my slightly sweaty appearance.
Websites I have found useful:
Breast Cancer Care
Cancerhelp.org (the patient information website of Cancer Research UK)
Netdoctor.co.uk
Scarf Studio (scarfs and bandanas)
My hat was itching like mad on my bald head and was slightly askew where I had been scratching and pulling at it and I was puffing and panting like a 90-year-old! I was just going to tell her my master plan when she produced a helper from behind a door; much like a magician can pull a rabbit from a hat and announced that she would have to send me with an escort, then! Oh, the shame of it.
The "escort", having also been given directions then walked with me until she got to the outside door, said she wasn't quite sure where it was either as she had been away for five months and this was only her second day back and she couldn't really remember, but pointed me up the road with instructions to turn left and its near the bus stop.
At last a clue, the bus stop, I knew where that was, but surely that's the front of the hospital and we were at the back? I followed the instructions and yes, there I was at the front of the hospital, only yards from where the information desk was by the front entrance and right in front of me was the building I wanted!
I had actually been standing by it when I phoned Alan. Now, in my defence it isn't really very clearly labelled and I was looking for an internal department, not a separate building. If the instructions given had said, go back out this front door, turn right and that department is a separate building just by the bus stop, I would have found it immediately, no really, I would have, it was much more logical to me than walking right through and round the hospital.
Oh, well, all's well in the end but it took me half and hour to drop off one sample which I could have leapt out the car and done almost in seconds while Alan waited.
Thursday, November 6:
I'm not having much luck at the L&D this week. Today I had to have my pre-chemo blood test. Not painful, and usually, although there might be a few minutes to wait doesn't take too long. I have a priority stamped card marked urgent and once I have my name at the desk I am called within minutes.
Today, for some reason though, the queue was two hours long – two hours!! – I patiently waited in line, starting somewhere in Carlisle, I think! Feeling alternately ill (standing isn't good at the moment) and desperate because Alan was waiting. I phoned Alan and sent him off to work in the end and resigned myself to my fate.
I was stuck in a teeming river of humanity all of whom were coughing and sneezing and generally looking not well at all and I felt distinctly that if my infection hadn't gone now I would soon be replacing it with another! I reached the desk after not quite two hours and handed in my card.
The lady took one look at me and promptly informed me I should never have stood in that queue with all those sick people- they didn't want me catching things and should have marched to the front with my priority card – yes, I could have skipped the queue! I think it would have started a riot, mind you, but I would gladly have chanced that – if only I had realised. If only I still had my brain!!!
Part 39 next week
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Friday 10 February 2012
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