The Bald Woman's Blog: Part 51
How not to fry your bosoms in radiotherapy
Wednesday, February 4:
I am learning! When the light bulb wouldn't go in today after much twisting and reaching and getting hot and bothered, I did not swear, nor throw it down in a temper, or rage about the house cussing'n'kicking in my usual way.
Why? Well, there are two main reasons. I'm just too damn tired to exert myself like that – there just isn't the energy to spare and...this is the learning bit...I recognise that I am too tired to cope with things like that just now and it will be better tomorrow.
At the beginning of the day I am less tired and that is when I will attempt this mission again. Besides, it's very unladylike, all that rage, isn't it? I'm keeping to myself the things I thought, though, because as honest as this blog is – warts and all - I'm fairly sure they wouldn't print the things I didn't say!
The radiotherapy is going extremely well. So far I have no problems at all with my breast apart from it is slightly tender – it's nothing. It is very tiring, though, and it's hard to judge whether it's the travelling to and from, which takes one a half hours in total, or the actual treatment, which they do warn will make you tired as the body tries to repair all the damaged cells from the radiation.
I was told to drink plenty and that really would help. I sure it would but when you have to spend quite a lot of the day in the car that does present its own problems! All that reading I did about radiotherapy and how it burns you etc. etc. has turned out to be rubbish!
Thinking about it and re-reading some of those cases, nearly all of the problems stem from the fact that these ladies put "therapy" oils on to help the skin or special herb treatments which mainly consist of trying to re-hydrate the breast skin and prevent cracking, dry skin, which if course would be painful in itself.
The problem, and it seems obvious now, is that basically if you want something to cook nicely – in the oven or microwave (are you ahead of me here) it's best to oil it first! All of these ladies seemed to use the best they could find in the way of oil/hydration. Smear it all over the bosom and then trot off to radiotherapy.
Believe me, even if you were to wipe it all off before you took the treatment the perfumes and other ingredients still linger on the skin all adding to that "frying tonight" effect.
Don't do it. Use only the pure cream given to you and even then do not put it on before you have the treatment. Go with a clean, clear breast and after put on the cream and only that. Treat your breast gently, patting it dry and it is best not to wear a bra at all if you can or if you have to then a very soft, no seams or fasteners one.
I purchased a pull on bra from eBay (where else). It is a supremely unattractive garment reminiscent of the liberty bodices my mother used to force me into when I was four, lest I catch a chill on my chest! It is, however, only a temporary measure and you can always undress in the dark!
It is, despite it looks very comfortable, soft and gently supports your bosom while keeping you warm in this weather. It also stops that awful feeling that you have forgotten to get dressed properly or have gone out still in your nightie!
Seriously, the main aim is to keep the skin in excellent condition, not to chaff or rub it and definitely NOT to put any thing on it unless the experts tell you to do so. I am not normally so submissive to rules and am all for experimenting and doing your own thing but….have a look at those images on Google if you want, it's enough to convince anyone to stick to the rules!
Sunday, February 15
My mother used to say that whenever she went out – it was such a rare occasion - the weather would kick off. On the day of her funeral, it snowed and was dramatically cold – absolutely bitter – we had to leave early for the funeral because of the snow. We could almost hear her saying that some things never change!
Likewise I seem to have inherited that particular gremlin. My radiotherapy journey went from maybe one hour to a definite three and a half hours due to the worst snow to fall in 18 years. What can I say, my bladder was under great strain and I arrived at several appointments several hours late, but then, so did everyone else.
Websites I have found useful:
Breast Cancer Care
Cancerhelp.org (the patient information website of Cancer Research UK)
Netdoctor.co.uk
Scarf Studio (scarfs and bandanas)
There was a great camaraderie in the waiting room – which wasn't very large – crammed full of ladies all with similar hairstyles to mine! Some had wonderful wigs on and because usually there is never a crowd waiting (they are very efficient at Mount Vernon) – a sort of party atmosphere developed where we swapped stories. It was all extremely interesting.
There was a good mixture of ages on this particular day, myself and a lady similar to my age with hair that had grown a bit longer than mine (that's not difficult!).
One very "posh" looking lady with a "to-die-for" wig, another larger lady and two younger women, both of who were sporting my hairstyle. One of the younger ladies looked like the sort you wouldn't want to tangle with up a dark alley and had a husband to match so when I made my opening gambit at "hair" conversation I was slightly worried about the reaction from that corner.
My head was itching like mad having been trapped under my woolly hat for hours in the car so there was nothing for it but to have a good scratch and apologise to my room mates. It was a great surprise when Mrs Butch whipped off her hat as well and joined in.
Mrs Posh didn't doff her wig but said she wished she could as it was itching like mad but took too long to get back into position again and the lady opposite me, about my age, joined in with the comments about hair itchiness, growth, colour and the effect that the whole thing had and on her and her family.
Clearly everyone was bursting to get something off their chest (or their head!). We were able to talk for some while together as we waited to be fitted in with all the other appointments. Everyone had been affected in different ways by their cancer and ensuing hair loss.
Mrs Butch admitted that she was in denial about it all until the day her hair fell out and then she cried, quite a lot! The whole thing had become too much for her and two weeks ago she started taking Prozac which she said had just about kicked in now and she was feeling much better. It just goes to show how appearances can be deceptive.
By now everyone reading this must have realised that I'm a bit of a "look the devil in the eye" kind of person and pills were never going to be an option for me. It's not that I think they're wrong, no, each to their own, but at some time you have to stop taking them and personally I think that's worse – but that's just me.
I have realised that I quite like a challenge, something to really face up to and believe me this has been a good one! We all talked, well, they talked actually and I listened because I knew I would be able tell everyone about everything here in this blog. Generally, there was much laughter.
Everyone said that bald seemed quite normal to them now and all the husbands agreed. Life had taken on a new sense of normal but we were all looking forward to having hair again at some stage. It made me feel lucky again in that several of those women had lost breasts and they were a lot younger than me, some with young children and some who had yet to have children – if they could.
I still have both breasts and was in no position to complain about anything as far as I was concerned.
By the time I was called in – I was the first of the "crowd", we were all laughing and joking yet I walked off for my "blast" feeling sorrier for the others than I did for myself.
I had looked carefully at each woman as I spoke with them, they had smiled and laughed and occasionally with moist eyes recalled the diagnosis and the horror of it all.
But there was something else there too and I wondered if it showed in my eyes. There was a look of wariness and distrust. Something that echoed my own thoughts of not being able to take your future for granted any more. Of not being able to count on the fact of growing old for sure and of seeing your own children have their children.
They were all fighting to stay alive in order to fulfil the things that other people hardly give a second thought to – the future. We have all changed, physically and mentally and that is irreversible. It makes me mad that we have to do this through no fault of our own.
Part 52 next week
Have you been affected by breast cancer? Would you like to drop Su a line? You can email your comments to her by clicking here
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Weather for Luton
Friday 10 February 2012
Today
Sunny spells
Temperature: -6 C to 1 C
Wind Speed: 13 mph
Wind direction: South east
Tomorrow
Sunny spells
Temperature: -5 C to -1 C
Wind Speed: 7 mph
Wind direction: South east
