Cue the double whammy that is Pain And Gain, which connoisseurs of sensitive, character-driven narrative film-making will note is directed by Michael ‘Boneheaded Big Bangs’ Bay.
The well-defined duo who merit above the title billing are pumped-up kidnappers in what is being marketed as a tongue-in-cheek comedy.
Bodybuilder Mark works in a Miami gym and enlists recently-released crim Dwayne to help him in his ramshackle plan to kidnap a wealthy client and muscle him out of a substantial stash of cash.
The plan goes horribly wrong, and Ed Harris comes into the frame as the hard-faced detective on their trail.
Apparently it’s based on a true story, and it’s a world away from the special effects blockbusters with which Bay made his name and his money.
The leads seem to be having fun as a pair of meatheaded dreamers, but the man calling the shots will have to offer more than this if he wants us to forgive and forget Transformers and Bad Boys – although, to be fair, you can catch Armageddon on telly pretty much every week of the year and it still stands up as a classic of its kind.
So, let’s talk about how Niall Horan, Zayn Malik, Liam Payne, and Louis Tomlinson have changed your life. No? How about Harry Styles, then?
Harry is the best-known name in all-conquering boy band One Direction who tick the latest box in their career plan with a big screen movie release made firmly with fans in mind.
This cute quintet may only have finished third in The X Factor but under the gentle guidance of Simon Cowell they have stormed to world domination without anyone who isn’t a teenage girl really noticing or caring.
The surprise name is behind the camera, Super Size Me director Morgan Spurlock getting the nod to produce One Direction: This Is Us, a formula flick featuring interviews, performance footage and music, including – surprise, surprise – their new single. Don’t all rush at once.
Interviews with all five band members at the film’s premiere are featured in the video report linked to this preview.
What’s next? You’re Next... It’s an 18-certificate home invasion slasher starring nobody you’ve really heard of, which gives you some idea of how the body count is going to rise. A wedding anniversary bash isn’t going all that swimmingly before the crazed crossbow-wielding masked gang arrives on the scene – for shock and gore fans only.