Meet Dunstable's wannabe Bond villain with his new book on surviving lockdown

Disabled Dunstable comedian Spike Breakwell loves taking the micky out of his situation.

One of his favourite opening lines always brings the house down: "I don't know what I've been drinking but I could walk half an hour ago!"

And now the multi-talented former pupil of Lady Zia Wernher School in Luton has written a book, Isolation Nation, about surviving lockdown in a wheelchair.

And needless to say it's a tummy tingling laugh a minute.

Spike - real name Colin James Breakwell - was crippled by the anti-polio vaccine when he was four months old. But he's remarkably sanguine about his condition.

"Basically I have limited muscle growth," he explains. "But I've never thought why me? What would be the point - why fret about what you can't change? And I'm not in any pain."

He says he's wanted to be a comedian ever since he was a lad of about nine: "I told a joke in a school play and got a big laugh... that's when I knew what I had to do."

He pauses: "I did consider a different career - Pamela Anderson's bra technician - but apparently my hands were too cold."

His first big gig was in January 1992 at the Comedy Store in Leicester Square.

He recalls: "I was initially a bit nervous but brazened it out and 10 minutes later I was back in the dressing room with Jack Dee and Mark Lamarr congratulating me - phew!"

Spike met fellow comedian Simon Hardeman at the Comedy Cafe in London in 1992 - the start of a partnership that's still going strong.

The initial attraction? "I made him laugh and he made me look taller," Spike smiles. "We teamed up for that year's Edinburgh Festival in a show called On the Toilet With Shergar - an Evening of Horseplay and Lavatory Humour."

The dynamic duo also wrote the Beginners' Guide column in The Times magazine and during lockdown completed Hancock's Half House - a podcast sitcom.

The pandemic was also behind Isolation Nation. Spike claims he wanted to make people chuckle and lockdown provided a perfect captive audience.

He admits it was hard penning comedy during a situation which claimed so many lives: "Then Donald Trump would say something bizarre and it was easy .. . lol."

This is his third book. He's already written two children's adventure stories - Leila's Game and Movie World - with novelist Colin A Millar and a fourth, The Writes of Man, is scheduled for release next Spring.

Another amusing chapter in his life was being adopted into an Aboriginal tribe when he toured Australia. It made him very proud but there are drawbacks: "I'm torn during The Ashes."

The undoubted highlight of his career was going to America where he appeared in the movie Bad Reception and was known as the Stephen Hawking of Hollywood. He'd love to go back and harbours an ambition to be a Bond villain: "I've already got a chair with lots of buttons."

Spike is also a musician of note and plays bass guitar with local rock band, The Reapers. Their EP Welcome to the Reaping is available via streaming sites.

And in spite of his success with the written word, Spike says the stage will always be his first love. Which is just as well, as he's single. He quips: "Unbelievable, isn't it? Given my Adonis-like looks..."

> Isolation Nation by Spike Breakwell is available on Amazon.